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I loved ME1 and I also adored ME2–I almost took a day off work the day my preorder came in, and I ran through the entire game (side quests and all) in about 25 hours (which is surprisingly short for a Bioware game). It was exactly to my expectations, a bit darker than ME1 (but not to an extreme), and all around a fun experience. And yet, I’m not enchanted.

Part of the problem with ME2 is that it’s the second of the series–the second in a trilogy really is a static thing, something that begins with no clear origin and ends with no clear resolution. It plays like a “bridge”–like a vehicle to get from one side to the other–because it is.

Another problem is the characters. It has interesting characters, I’ll give it that, and yet…

Miranda – a lead officer in the Cerberus network, she is genetically engineered to be “perfect” — she even remarks upon her looks several times, though her appearance actually leaves a little to be desired (her body is formulaically perfect, but her face … a little bit on the “British inbreed” side, which is an odd choice considering all the talk of her beauty). She is uptight, annoying, and she never seems to do much–while she’s a great all around character to bring with you (with biotics [magic] and engineering [tech]), she never displays any leadership qualities, to the point that at the end game, when asked to send out a good leader, I was honestly surprised she was even mentioned as a candidate.

Jacob – a soldier in the Cerberus network, he’s the Lite version of Kaidan from ME1. He has almost no personality, even after you complete his “loyalty mission.” I suspect he does not have anything interesting to say unless you “Romance” him, which is a concept I’m simply contemptuous of.

Subject Zero/Jack – I like this character. A lot of people don’t. They found her sexist, because she’s topless when you find her (wearing some sort of tribal bra). However, she’s also covered in scars and tattoos, and I suspect she would be completely topless if it were not for game censorship: it’s not a sexual thing, it’s a tribal, visceral thing. Her appearance is not pretty, or even sexual, and would not be blinked at were it on a male. She even has a boyish figure: compared to other video game characters, she is positively flat chested. To me, this makes her character design compelling. The main problem, however, is that you can’t seem to get close to her or develop a friendship with her unless you are going to “Romance” h er–the same problem Jacob has.

Garrus – your returning buddy from ME1 has a distinct problem: some of us barely talked to Garrus in ME1. In fact, he came off as rather generic to me, even though my character treats him as the bestest ever. All in all, he’s more of the same.

The Doctor – I’m blanking on his name now, but in truth he’s my favorite of the new characters. He has a personality, he has a compelling back story and conflicts, and he has a lot to say about a variety of subjects. He’s a bit of a squishy character in the damage-taking department.

Tali – another returning character from ME2, they finally give Tali a personality in this one, as she was pretty devoid of one otherwise. Tali is a space gypsy, and she’s another “good, not great,” character that again I suspect is only really interesting to someone who has romanced her–see the theme? In ME1, for instance, Ashley could be prompted to give you great bouts of information and character development even if you were a female character–I don’t see that in ME2, or the options are a lot less visible.

Legion – I’m not spoilering this because it’s been out for a while now that one of the characters you could pick up was a geth–Legion is probably the most interesting character, when you think about it, as he is an individual personification of the entire geth race. However, you actually get very little time with him (probably because of Plot), so you never really get to question him in depth.

Samara – One of the better characters of ME2, and yet still one of very little emotional connection. She is an asari justicar; someone devoted to righting the wrongs of the world and bound by a rigid code of honor. Basically, a blue alien paladin. This would be interesting, if she had more than three dialogues, which she does not.

Grunt – the Wrex of the game, Grunt really has very little to say, and what he does have to say is generally simply violent. He is to Wrex as Jacob is to Kaiden.

Thane – Same as above–Thane is of a new race to ME2, and he actually has several very interesting dialogues, but it is hard to talk to him and also skirt around the romance options. While interesting, his voice actor seems somewhat disinterested in the role, and it made me feel like someone reading an audio book (I don’t know though; maybe that’s just how fish people are). His oddly religious assassin vibe gave me a weird feeling too.

Essentially, while the characters are on a whole interesting and unique, they are really throw away characters. They never gave me a compelling reason to fight for them or with them. Besides the Doctor (Mordin! That’s his name), I didn’t really care if anyone died. There was never a bond between their character and my character, and again, I suspect that is because I avoided the romance options. Contrast this to Dragon Age, in which there is an enormous amount of party dialogue and, by the end of it all, your characters have all grown to care about each other.

That’s just the characters: then there’s the plot. Again, this is a mid-section game, so the plot itself is really More of the Same.  And oddly, there really isn’t that much to the linear plot: most of the game is taken up in (optional) side quests about the characters. These normally amount to “I have a tragic back story which can only be resolved by shooting about 100 people, and then I will be fine.”

The destinations and environments additionally feel sparse, and the lack of an inventory and shops is noticeable. I have not decided whether or not I like this–it is refreshing being freed from inventory management, but that’s also a large part of the genre. The game in general seems stripped down: there are few enemies, and some are simply dropped in/reskinned from the original game. Little things, such as the lack of ability to change your NPCs armor, make the game feel less engaging.

The combat, on the other hand, has much improved and is actually challenging this time around, whereas in ME1 it was really just “push button to win.” This is perhaps the biggest improvement ME2 made over ME1.

On a whole, it’s a great game, but somewhat lackluster compared to its predecessor. I was also, as mentioned, very surprised at the game’s length–I did all the upgrades, searched for ore, did every single mission, recruited every character, and ended at less than 25 hours. On the other hand, with such a stripped down game, I don’t see how it could have gone on longer. I can’t actually say I was disappointed, necessarily, but perhaps my expectations were too high.

I’ve been programming for years, but I’ve never before learned Java. I’m not heavy into object-oriented programming either, which makes it exponentially more interesting. While things like stack-size, big O, instances and scope are not new to me, the whole approach to programming is different. For instance, the rigid Java standards: back when I programmed in C, no one cared where you placed your brackets, but Java man, Java’s got rules.

I like to summarize what I have learned, because synthesizing my knowledge helps me retain it. Today was Assignment #3 for my ICS 211 course, which was ridiculously simple: to create a size 5 array representing a directory, and allow the user to add items to the directory (I also threw in the removal of items). We were also told to implement an interface, which is a lot like a template for how a class has to go.

Things I learned:

1) I really, really hate Java brackets. I know they allow you to get more code up on the screen, but the fact is that we now have 21″ screens and that is not a factor. I like having brackets on individual lines as it makes it easier for me to distinguish between code blocks, as well as identify mismatched brackets (which is normally not an issue, but when I’m using an IDE that auto-completes brackets for me things get a little hairy).

2) Implementation of an interface, such that:
private static interface directoryInterface {

void addToDirectory(string Item) throws DirectoryFullException;

}

And then implementation of the corresponding directory:
private static Directory implements directoryInterface{
private static void addToDirectory (string Item) {

…

}
}

3) Implementation of throw/catch exceptions, such that:
private static void DirectoryFullException(string Msg) extends Exception

Which means that addToDirectory must:

throw new DirectoryFullException(Msg);

And that when addToDirectory is called it must be called as such:

try {

addToDirectory(string);

}

catch (DirectoryFullException) {

System.exit(-1);

}

Now that I’ve defended an obviously sexist article of media (Bayonetta), I would like to attack a generic, family-friendly fantasy film.

Well, to be fair Avatar isn’t entirely family friendly–there is a lot of gore and violence–but it is marketed as such, and let’s face it, parents will take their kids to anything that involves cartoon blue cat people.

The central conceit of the film is that the alien race of Pandora are one with their world. They interface through neural links (which they weave into their hair) with other entities. This extends to horse like creatures (which must be ridden after the rider has linked into them) and taming giant, flying beasts.

The implication that these neural links are sexual begins at the very beginning of the movie–Jake Sully looks at his, and a scientist remarks, “Don’t play with it–you’ll go blind.” Later in the film, before Jake Sully beds his Pocahontas love interest, they link braids.

So it’s a sexual thing: it has some uses in reproduction, at least. So what are we to make of the Taming of the Flying Beasts?

In this scene, it is explained to Sully that a beast will “choose” him, and that he must tame it. How does it choose him? It tries to kill him, so he forces himself upon it. It doesn’t take a genius to see why this is uncomfortable: their whole basis on choosing a creature to mind-rape is based on the creature that wants it the least. The battle is brutal, he ties the creature up and forces it to submit, literally shouting a triumphant “Yeah–yeah you’re mine now.”

Are we really supposed to take a message of success from this? Is this really supposed to be anything but creepy and wrong, and how can the movie itself be so ignorant of its own message?

Since the Pandoran people take advantage of every creature around them that they can, it seems likely that they are not the passive, peace-loving people that they seem, but rather just like humans: arrogant, top-of-the-food chain predators who really only care for their own needs. While they seem to value the animals they hunt, they still force their domesticated animals to “submit,” even recklessly putting them into danger when it suits them–perhaps they value the animals they hunt because they are strong enough to avoid the mind-rape.

In fact, perhaps Sully sides with the Pandoran people against the humans because he begins to recognize them as superior beings, with the power to exert their force over others. The Pandorans, while not militarily advanced, are certainly stronger and more agile than the humans, and value strength, agility and the warrior ethic. In essence, perhaps Sully simply goes with the winning side.

In any case, Avatar is a gorgeous film and uses groundbreaking technology–there’s no denying that. But the undercurrent of the strong vs the weak, submission and dominance, is palpable and eerie: it seems to have no place in this fantasy world, and its inclusion raises questions. Perhaps the easiest answer is simply that the story originated in the mind of an 8th grade boy, who probably felt a bit weak and impotent himself, but that might be reaching too far.

Bayonetta is sexism so extreme that it’s flipped around to the other side. It’s the story of a woman–a witch named Bayonetta–who needs to kill angels due to a pact with the devil. There is a more convoluted plot than that, but it makes no sense and I will pay it no mind.

It’s schlocky, 1970s action material, complete with a bad plotline and more flash than brains. Yes, the main character is a ridiculous extreme of femininity–but so are most male video game characters extreme versions of masculinity. The partial nudity and over the top poses are clearly tongue in cheek, just like the overly macho posturing in most male-based shooters. Where John Q Shooter might posture, Bayonetta preens.

The angels she fights are not the beatific models of current religious mythology, but rather biblical monstrosities, and I suspect they are largely faithful to the material–Revelations was some bizarre stuff, and I can entirely see it including say, disembodied child’s heads with wings. In fact, I think it contained exactly that.

Bayonetta herself resides almost in a private inner world, as she must enter a parallel dimension (that no one else sees) to fight these creatures. People see the impacts of her fights (such as stones shattering) but not the actual act. This leads to misinterpretations of her motivations and her actions, and can be taken on a deeper level: her truth resides on a completely different plane, unknown to humanity.

While her appearance and mannerisms are highly sexualized, Bayonetta’s actual actions are very rarely so. Indeed, the fact that she brushes off almost all human contact is what obviously keeps this from being a masturbatory fantasy. There is a lead male character, and she seems to regard him as a beloved pet and nothing more.

If anything, this is a highly stylized celebration of feminity–something sorely lacking from the male-centric world of gaming. Both of the strong, triumphant characters in this game are highly sexualized women, and it’s important to note that that is not a negative thing. We can have musclebound, top-heavy brutes ripping enemies to shreds (see: Darksiders, whose physiology is equally deranged as Bayonetta’s) and we see nothing more than a video game, but if we see a curvy lass with miles of legs destroying enemies we immediately shout “Sexism!” Her flashy attacks are no more or less gratuitous than needlessly bloody attacks (see: Fallout, Bloody Mess), but our American psychologies are less equipped to deal with sexuality than violence. In essence, I’m saying there is nothing we should be offended by in Bayonetta, but a lot we will be offended by.

Further it’s notable that Bayonetta is, in actuality, a caricature. Her proportions are not the correct proportions to be truly sensual: the designers consciously exaggerated the features to be stylistic and not sexy. Her legs are ridiculously long, for instance–far beyond what is normally seen in cheesecake characters. Some of her appearance is actually a little masculine–a broad chest and shoulders, as well as larger hands. The only conclusion I can reach is that the character was designed not to titillate, but to be the reliable counterpart to modern day masculine caricatures.

One thing you can’t avoid on Comedy Central (besides relentlessly mediocre stand-up acts) are the Girls Gone Wild advertisements at every single commercial break. I have no idea how much Comedy Central stock GGW must own by now, but it must be a fairly significant sum.

One thought I had recently, though I have not fully explored it, is that GGW is actually actively more harmful than actual, hardcore pornography. This begins with the fact that it’s become “mainstream,” and something that is mainstream has an unspoken cultural acceptance. Given that, it is the objectification of not a few male and female actors and actresses who have chosen the sex trade as their profession, but rather it is the objectification of ordinary, every day (albeit probably heavily intoxicated) young women. This differentiation is important and insidious. When a woman grabs a man’s porn collection and goes “Don’t you understand how this objectifies women?” it can be considered slightly hysterical, but with GGW it’s actually true–it is, at its heart, the distilled objectification of women, any attractive woman it can reach. The fact that women actually compete and desire to be a part of this is even more telling.

Interestingly, if you watch the GGW ad you will notice that all participants are white. There are a few mixed race participants, possibly, but no completely “ethnic” participants–no black women, indian women, asian women, etc.  Considering that many of it appears to occur in places such as California and Florida–places with beaches, scantily clad women, and more importantly, ethnic diversity–it’s an interesting sociological element. Is it because GGW is targeting a specific demographic? Or is it because a specific demographic is targeting GGW?

Dollhouse

Why am I watching this? I didn’t even like Firefly. Actually I know why I’m watching this, and Bones as well–there was nothing on TV, so I happened to catch Bones, and then Dollhouse together. This combined with a magical thing called “two more days till classes start” lead me to picking up the first seasons of age. Here’s the thing, and it’s an interesting thing: Dollhouse is not as bad a show as it actually really is. It is, really, truly, a terrible show. But it’s not really.

I think this is a Whedon thing, because he seems to have a knack for creating terrible shows which are better than they are. Dollhouse is a stupid, stupid show, with a stupid, stupid concept and stupid, stupid characters, but it’s not actually as dumb as it, actually, in fact is. It’s like some sort of magical enigmatic paradox of suck.

For instance, Dushku, the main actress, is terrible. But then, she’s essentially an android (a programmable person), so it doesn’t matter that she sucks–in fact, it’s all the more credible. The plots are repetitive and they suck too, but then, it’s about what people want and need, and those things generally are repetitive. Since the main characters are constantly wiped, they (with a big spoilery exception) don’t undergo character development, so of course the plots get reset. It explores the ideas of what it means to be a person, the level at which our memories shape who we are, and the endless power play of society. It also downloads people onto hard drives. The plots, at first, seem misogynistic and exploitative–going so far to have a female executive who essentially pimps the dolls out–but then you realize that it’s actually the world which is misogynistic and exploitative, but then you go around and decide that it’s the show again, and you end up in, again, an endless magical enigmatic paradox of suck.

I can’t even continue ranting about this because it’s so stupid, and I’m pretty sure it got cancelled just so that none of us have to really, really think hard about whether or not it has any merit whatsoever.

Bones

I never watched this because every episode I saw had that stupid romantic subplot in it, but the first season so far is decent. It has a bad hit or miss ratio, but as long as you’re whirling through all of it at once rather than watching it once a week it’s harder to notice. The main character is actually very interesting, in a case study, high-functioning autistic sort of way, and the main characters are endearing in a “people who really do belong in a lab” sort of way.

Heroes

HRG is becoming a relentless badass, isn’t he? I still don’t like Peter, he’s an idiot, and his actions in this episode were some of the most ridiculously stupid actions I’ve seen him do yet. Matt Parkman is once again, Matt Parkman, Generally Awesome Guy. Don’t you just want to grab a drink with him? And then kill his emasculating, cheating wife? On the other hand, Samuel’s plotline is wearing thin, mostly because they keep playing this “Is he good? Is he bad?” angle on what is obviously a complete psychopath. On the gripping hand, Mohinder-Ando-Hiro were a whirlwind of awesome, between Ando’s drugged “WOOOOO” when being dragged out of the closet, and the exchange (paraphrased):

Mohinder: You can give Hiro shock treatment.
Ando: But Hiro saw me killing him with electricity.
Mohinder: Was it in Florida?
Ando: No, Japan.
Mohinder: Then it’s a go! (shoves Ando at Hiro.)

(After Hiro breaking Mohinder out of the same institution Hiro put him in in the first place.)

Mohinder: YOU put me in here!
Hiro: …To be continued! (Runs away)

I could watch an entire show of HRG and Matt kicking ass, and Mohinder, Hiro and Ando being goofy sidekicks in the background. Just ditch Claire, Peter, Samuel… hell, just ditch everyone else. EVERYONE.

House

Best House ever, and that’s despite a Patient of the Week Dying to the Tune of Music Montage.

Finally, a sequel better than the original.

The original Assassin’s Creed had numerous failings; it could be best described as a lackluster free running simulator. I believe it was either a lack of funding or cowardice, but it is clear now that the AC team had pulled their punches. AC2 is very obviously the game that they always wanted to create.

Of course the writers know that their plot is outlandish–that is the point–but there is a relentless stream of intelligence running just below the surface of the game. How often are you going to find a free running assassin game which just so happens to also teach you a huge amount about the architecture, people and the history of the 1400s, as well as introduce you to scores of classical art?  Indeed the game actually adheres to historical fact in as much as it can, you know, with conspiracy plots and mysticism afoot. The architecture, as well, is as accurate as the team could make it. Considering that most games are written to a median IQ of “Forrest Gump,” this is a welcome breath of fresh air.

One notable inclusion to this game is Leonardo da Vinci, who is also portrayed with strange amounts of historical accuracy. I honestly have difficulty finding wrongs in a game which includes Leonardo da Vinci being awesome, an explanation of Tesla’s inventions, and also points out that Edison was, well, kind of a jerk. As well, I found that though the plot appears immature and hysterical, there is actually a rather universal undercurrent to it: the intimation that countries, borders, and political affiliations ultimately mean nothing, and the only true human desire is power.

Make no mistake: the plot is immature and nonsensical, but I believe it was done with a great measure of self awareness. The writers are not saying “Couldn’t this have happened?” but rather, “Wouldn’t it be interesting if this were true?” Which it is, there is no doubt. They also put a great deal of depth into their theories, sprinkling the entire game with small things that a player might not notice–some of which cannot even be decoded unless you know binary.

Another example of the game’s uncompromising accuracy is that it liberally sprinkles Italian into the game. To be sure, it’s modern Italian, but nevertheless they often do it in such a way that the player must pick up what is said by context. (There are subtitles, but it is purely optional and not turned on by default). This is engaging, pleasant, and all around a lot more than one would generally ask for from a video game–most designers would simply decide it would be too hard for the player, and insist on everything being done in an Italian accent only.

It’s not a game with a lot of replay value, and I have to say it’s about 15 hours long–definitely a rental, not a buy. Nevertheless, it’s also definitely not something to skip.

I’ve decided I’m going to learn a new word, every day, in English, French and Italian! I’m using the MW Dictionary, the French Word-a-Day Blog, and About.com’s Italian Word a Day.

English: Cognoscenti – I saw this word online and was stunned and excited that there was a word I didn’t immediately recognize. It means pretty much what it looks like: persons who have superior knowledge and understanding of a particular field, esp. in the fine arts, literature, and world of fashion.

French: Caissière (f.) – Predictably, a cashier.

Italian: Mercato – Market, example given: Le merci estere inondano il mercato, which is the oddly xenophobic phrase “Foreign goods are flooding the market.”
And as a bonus, the Spanish Word-a-Day: lanzar, to throw, to launch. Of course I’ve never studied Spanish and the Spanish conjugation chart looks confusingly similar to French, so I might put this one off.

Dexter

Dexter: Deb, I have something to confess to you which you’ll discover anyway. The Ice Truck killer was my biological brother, and one of Harry’s CIs, Laura Moser, was my biological mother. I found out during the investigation but was too ashamed to say anything. I had a traumatic childhood  but I’ve overcome it and I’m sharing it with you because you’re my sister and I love you, and having a traumatic childhood isn’t suspicious in the slightest.
Deb: Oh okay then, I’ll stop this pointless investigation that has spanned two seasons and is being used primarily for tension. I love you too, Dexter.
Masuka: Hey Dex I saw a guy kiss your wife, but then she pushed him away and said “I’m married,” and that she loves you, so I guess it’s really not an issue at all.
Dexter: Oh okay then, I mean I guess I’ll kill him, but my marriage seems solid so that’s good.
Quinn: I know we have problems because you think I’m a dirty cop–
Dexter: Actually I was just upset because I was protecting my sister. I love my sister, and I know you care about your partner too, so maybe we can clear the air between us?
Quinn: Oh… okay then.
Dexter: OK back to being a lovable psychopath, I’ma kill me some creepy old guy.
Trinity: Dexter Morgan!
Dexter: Oh look, I’ve shot you, and it will never matter. Let me just put the hammer you gave me which you killed someone else with in your hands so it looked like you attacked me first.
Rita: Dexxxxxxxxxxxx… I need you to do something insignificant and inconvenient with the baby for no real reason.
Dexter: No. I make the money and take care of your kids. I don’t beat or otherwise abuse you. Leave me alone you relentless harridan.

Heroes
There is only one phrase necessary: What Would Bennett Do?

Bennett Would Not:
- Stay alone in the creepy carnival with the crazy cult leader.
- Let the most psychotic serial killer in the world stroll cheekily away.
- Leave their best friend in the creepy carnival 21 hours away from home without calling someone.
- Hug the guy who tried to turn both my mothers into sex puppets.
- Believe the whole “I’m so kind I’ll let someone beat me up” shtick.
- Try to bring his long dead brother back from the dead.

House

On the other hand, very few complaints. I think we all enjoy Wilson, and the Wilson-centric episode really worked for me, especially since it made it clear that Wilson has his own support staff and patients and a routine very distinct from House’s. Seeing House’s antics from the outside was both absurd and more entertaining than an actual House episode. Seeing that Wilson is a competent and intelligent doctor in his own right was valuable, as it deepened House’s relationship with him: they’re equals. House knows there is something valuable in Wilson. But whereas House’s genius comes from a darkly intellectual, misanthropic place, Wilson simply is smart and cares about what he does. Also, Cuddy finally gets payback for being an annoying witch in countless too-tight suits, and there’s nothing better than that.