A Primitive Breed

The shelter listed my dog Chell as a shepherd-terrier mix. When I filled out the paperwork, I discovered she was actually a shepherd-basenji mix. At the time, all I knew about the basenji is that they were barkless and clean. I did not know they were considered primitive dogs.

Primitive dogs are less developed by mankind, which means they are less removed from their “primitive” roots. They are intelligent, independent, and instinctive. They also have far less an urge to please you.

I have tried everything, but the real problem is motivation. I can clicker train her to sit and stay, and she understands the commands completely, but no amount of training is ever going to train her to give a damn. She behaves when I’m in the room, but the second I leave she knows she can do anything. She has the ability for abstract thought, because she’s evil, and will do things like open the kitchen gate, grab the cat’s food bowl, close the kitchen gate behind her, eat the food and shove the bowl under the couch. It took me forever to figure out what was going on.

Food doesn’t motivate her, because I think she believes if something goes wrong, she can just eat me and the other dog.

She gets submissive when scolded–for as long as it takes to placate me, which is five seconds. And then she just bounces off.

If she senses I’m going somewhere she doesn’t want to go, she shoves herself under the bed and refuses to come out.

She has no concept of human affection. She doesn’t like being pet. Our other dog trained her to lick, but she doesn’t understand. She just gets really close to you and then licks her nose and looks at you like, “what now?”

Basically, my dog is a sociopath.

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