The Art of Favors

I’ve always regarded asking for favors as a weakness; contrariwise, I’ve often delivered upon them. It’s taken a long amount of observation and social contemplation for me to realize that favors aren’t just some sort of social economics, but rather a form of bonding.

I have a client who asks a great deal of favors; not just from us, but from every single person in every aspect of his life. I have found that not only are people more than willing to accommodate some rather ludicrous requests, but they feel positive in doing so. This positive feeling reinforces their feelings for the Client, and the Client thus gains a better reputation in their eyes via the act of asking for special treatment.

The realization of this was a remarkable one because it is so contrary to anything that I would have expected. While I would assume that someone constantly asking to borrow a hamburger today and pay you Thursday would begin to evoke feelings of frustration, if not outright rage, the opposite is true. If you ask someone for something, it makes them feel useful. You have suddenly given them more personal value.

Absurd! Impossible. Yet vitally true. I have come to realize that the notorious Client is just as pleased to deliver upon favors as to be the recipient of one, in fact, it is a role he takes with an almost somber seriousness. Of course, in return, he expects more favors; but this is no greed. Rather, this is the way that he socially interacts with the world, by the constant exchange of a social currency called favors.

In this manner, it is not people who take favors that are weak; the inverse is true. People who refuse to ask for favors are weak because they do not develop these strong social bonds with other people. It may seem ridiculous, but people desire to be used. People desire to be useful. It is in our tribal nature to conform, obey and above all serve.

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